brain dump

IMG_8775We’ve been going on summer night walks. Do you ever want to walk forever? Someday I hope Andy gets home before 7 pm, so dinner doesn’t go til 8, and if that ever happens, I know in the summer nights we will walk and run and bike, and I hope it’s for forever.

I always thought when I was like, 25, I would have life figured out. No more freaky decisions, sure of everything, no longer scared of people, easy peasy. Why did that not happen?

Andy took two summer classes this j-term. It’s been all summer, but for two weeks, man that was pure torture. I thought we were going to die. Why does everything bad happen on the already worst weeks and then no one has time to make dinner and I don’t even know the last time I cleaned and I want to get rid of a million things.

Speaking of, do you ever just want to throw everything away? Lately all I want to do is get rid of everything. I want to downsize (even more) (except have a huge kitchen of course) and just be f r e e. Seriously, it’s going to happen. I know. Also, I want to go to the beach.

We’ve been married for over 4 years and 2 months. I still just have the best husband. He is so supportive of me and what I love and he works so hard. Also, he puts up with my moods, like when I go around throwing everything away and getting out the calculator thinking we can afford to go to the beach tomorrow.
I’ve been really sentimental about old photos lately and my new goal is to have photo books (I’ll have room for them because I’m throwing everything else away, ha!). So that is our new presents for each other, having more moments together, but also hopefully getting them into books to remember forever.
The last few nights we’ve been playing Skip Bo every night. I actually prefer it to Nertz, but I hate admitting that. I keep wondering when there will be a night where we just stop playing or we’re too tired, but I think we are addicted.
I miss a lot of people but I am so happy we have time to travel soon.

August is such a weird month when your husband is in school. I really want it to keep being summer (actually, I really want to re-do this summer. why does school make everything go so fast yet painfully slow?) but I also love flannel and the beginning of new seasons. Only about one more week until school starts. I think I could throw myself on the floor flailing and crying. I think most of the time I remember it worse than it actually is. This entire next year Andy learns Hebrew. I hope to learn the art of being happy, even with late nights and Hebrew learning.

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I want to bottle up this weekend so I can remember it and smell it and hold it close for the rest of my life. I feel so free, so alive, so carefree after a day with Andy, after a bike ride, after a long day in the sun. These photos are filled with my favorites. My favorite street, music, Andy, sunshine. Sometimes you need your favorite bourbon mint ice cream and friendly faces and putting off a paper to bike for three hours and just l i v e. I would rather spend a million days home with you exploring and running and singing and laughing than seeing a grand exotic location. You are my adventure. You are my love. xo, h

good listening

The two chapel messages this week were such a comfort to my soul. I’m posting so I will remember them, but I hope they are encouraging for others as well. I feel inadequate to write my thoughts down at the moment, maybe that time will come some day. For now, I am thankful for hope. I am thankful the past two years my “Sunday school view” of the Bible has been shattered and prepared me for these messages. I am thankful for the Old Testament. I am thankful that after all the disappointments and failures and sin in the Old Testament, God was faithful and sent a King that finally could do everything perfectly. Links below:

for such a slime as this

hope for a weak soul

Dear Andy

(sidenote: I wrote this on Monday, but I often have a hard time publishing what I write the day I write.)

Dear Andy,

Today I got a glimpse into your life. I went to one of your classes with you. Previously I tried to prepare for the class by reading all the material you were reading. After one chapter I deemed that ridiculous and that I had other things to do with my time and proudly gave up. The one chapter was boring, hard, and gruesome. The other five chapters plus 20 pages of online reading I’m sure would have been worse. Class was okay, if you like dark, freezing cold rooms, and watching me fidget like a five year old stuck in a three hour long class filled with explanations of definitions. And then we departed ways, each of us going to our separate jobs. I wondered how you did it. Every single week, plus two other classes (and this class is your “easy” class) and another job thrown in. Plus, me, of course. I was proud of you before and I knew your life was hard, but, wow. You are the best, my perfect companion. Tonight I will gladly do all the dishes, fold your clothes, and read what I want quietly in my reading corner. Thank you, dear.

i want to remember

I am so excited for fall and scarves and everything pumpkin and chills in the air and hot chocolate and mittens and more walks. It is the first day of Autumn, but Summer 2012 I so enjoyed and I don’t want to forget.

I want to remember what it felt like to put on shorts, a t-shirt, and water shoes and walk outside and feel the warm embrace of the sun.

 I want to remember all the goodbyes and hugs and tears.

I want to remember what it feels like to drive ten hours to your new home, everything crammed in your car.

I want to remember everything feeling new and fresh and light.

I want to remember what it feels like to move to a new city.

I want to remember making a pallet on the floor and falling asleep holding hands, talking about our new life.

I want to remember the amazing sunlight flooding through the windows every evening.

I want to remember barbequing with friends and grilling corn and watching the Olympics.

I want to remember all the rice and pb&j we ate.

I want to remember setting off the smoke alarm three times and the fireman coming.

I want to remember all the books I loved.

I want to remember eating lots of homemade popcorn.

I want to remember the crazy amount of time Andy and I got to spend together.

I want to remember Andy waking up and killing bugs.

I want to remember all the places we explored.

I want to remember our families coming and visiting.

I want to remember doing laundry together.

I want to remember meeting Mrs. Schreiner and feeling so welcomed and her saying she knew we would stay at Clifton.

I want to remember all the lazy, relaxing Sundays.

I want to remember the farmer’s market.

I want to remember all the tears.

I want to remember the picnic in the park with our little sandwiches and lots of love, talking about what we’ve been learning and what our life might look like in 5-10 years.

I want to remember all the great smoothies we drank.

I want to remember being squished on our little couch.

I want to remember watching Psych every night for dinner.

I want to remember all the deep, uncontrollable laughter.

I want to remember this summer as the summer I loved summer.

*This post was inspired by a great writing prompt from Ali Edwards.